Enslaved

Enslaved is the latest game from Ninja Theory, the devs behind painfully average actioner Heavenly Sword. Wait, come back! The one beacon of light in Ninja Theory’s last effort was Any Serkis. As well as voice acting and mocapping king Bohan, the game’s bad guy, he also directed the cut scenes and had a hand in writing the story. The game is full of fun adventure, and excitement gameplay.

Serkis has had a similar hands-on role for Enslaved. He voices and mo-caps a wandering loner called Monkey, in a story loosely based on ancient Chinese novel Journey to the West, as we are pretty sure that didn’t take place in a post apocalyptic wasteland where the last remains of the Human race fight for survival in world over run by robots.

This time the story’s written by Alex Garland, who planned The Beach and 28 Days Later. And it goes a little something like this… After a girl named Trip sticks a headband on you designed to crush your skull if you don’t obey her orders, you have to help her get home. We don’t know where ‘home’ is, but art shows a ruined New York reclaimed by Plant Life.

G-Force

Guinea Pig secret agents, G-Force is the latest in a long line of ridiculous Disney creation films that turn relatively useless households pets into something high concept for the amusement of stupid children. The game is in 3D, like the film, but don’t orgasm in excitement: this is basic, Eighties two color, obnoxiously expensive Avatar stuff that James Cameron is messing around with.

Aside from causing a headache after about 30 minutes, it’s okay. Take the packed in glass away however, and G-Force is a fairly humdrum mix of imprecise platforming and mundane puzzles. The guinea pigs in this universe are apparently armed with electric whips, meaning it plays like Daxter on PSP. While G-Force is a little tedious, however, we admit that children of discount IQ will tolerate it better than us sweaty, miserable adults.

This isn’t to suggest that just because it’s children’s videogame we forgive G-Force for being pedestrian, though, Children can play far better stuff than this if they want to, Banjo Kazooie , for example, or Viva Pinata. For those poor, anti cynical children who have yet to discover the true emotional horrors of adult life, however, somehow finding happiness in a guinea pig voiced by Made director Jon Favreau, we wish them well in their 3D platform endeavors.

SmackDown vs Raw 2010

Eleven games on and you’d think that this perennial series that takes silly showmanship seriously would have hit terminal velocity by now, and in way it has. If you had issue with the lumpy wadding of the wrestlers, then that feeling will remain, and if you find waiting for a promote to tell you a reversal on a grapple and then in turn waiting for the other player to follow suit repetitive, then expect no surprise. SamckDown’s play core is unmistakably similar to last year’s model but this time it’s surrounded by the greatest and possibly most libelous story ever told, your own.

WWE Story Designer is fantastic in a similar way to elements of the PC game The Movies and that’s to say it’s very impressive indeed. Scenes are built of dialogue and actions that come from a pool of 100 prescribed animations, dialogue can be written with a USB Keyboard should you want to speed up the script writing process, you can reposition the camera to frame your shots and, with a bit of imagination, the result can be too hilarious or, if you are dead inside, laboriously. The result can be uploaded to the internet for all to enjoy. Sweet.